For a Special Occasion
In my country, it was common to have something saved “for a special occasion.” A fancy dress hanging in the closet, not to be worn just like that — it might get dirty. Or special shoes. Or a beautiful, expensive tea set that was only for guests.
I remember stories about my grandfather’s family in Soviet times — they had just one men's suit for the whole family. It wasn’t for galas or fancy events:), just a regular suit. And there were several men in the house. One would come home from work, and another would put on the same suit to go to his classes. That’s where this careful attitude toward clothes comes from.
Millions of families lived like this, keeping something for a special day that never really came. Because the country was full of crises and uncertainty.
And today, my daughter is going to preschool in a very fancy dress. I know that here, in the city of Lululemon leggings and cozy thrifted clothes, people might think, “Russians are strange,” even if they don’t say it out loud. I’ll feel a bit embarrassed, just for a minute — one of the Russian cultural habits. But my daughter will look as she wants. Because life has taught me not to wait, but to live in the moment.
I’m a great project manager — at work and in life. 12 years in events, partnerships and business development. I can make a detailed plan for a week, a month, even a year. But I don’t do that anymore. Covid, war, immigration. And a sea of other crises that hit us daily. There’s no guarantee that tomorrow won’t bring something new. It’s funny, but life in Russia trained us well for this.
So, back to the “special occasion” dress. I watch our local immigrant community closely — the women who came from Russia and Ukraine around the same time as me. Strong, active, smart women who don’t let themselves drown in heavy thoughts. They take any job so their children don’t feel the changes. They often sacrifice a lot. Just like our mothers did in the 90s — sacrificing themselves so their kids could have a chance at something better. It hurts to see this here in Canada, a country I imagined so differently. But life, no matter where you are, is the same. Even for many locals who didn’t have to start over, life now isn’t easy.
I know people still show “perfect lives” on Instagram, but in private chats, they talk honestly about not being able to afford good shampoo, because rent comes first. Someone else can't give up their manicure. It sounds funny, but why should a woman deny herself something that helps her feel confident, beautiful, and stable? Maybe she worked for years to allow herself to live brightly, beautifully, not saving everything for “a special occasion.” Who are we to judge?
I still have many dresses at my home in Russia, but here, I wouldn’t even have a reason to wear them. High heels, wine glasses, my grandma’s tea set “for guests,” my grandpa’s chessboard that still smells like lacquer. I used to dream about my own house where I could use all these things and host people. Now, I don’t even dream of owning a house anymore — in Canada, it feels like a fantasy for immigrants.
But I think about all those who no longer have anything for a special occasion — who lost their homes and their old lives forever. And that pain is real. Hard to process. I wish everyone had a chance to enjoy life now. Not someday in a better future — but now. Without sacrificing everything.
I want to end this post with an invitation to support a beautiful organization - Dress for Success Vancouver and their global office Dress for Success Worldwide that helps immigrant women with everyday clothes and business outfits for interviews. They offer support and inspiration — without making the woman feel needy or ashamed. Women supporting women — seeing them as people, not just their situation. That’s priceless.
And when someone has lost not only the “special occasion dress,” but their whole life, receiving something beautiful can mean the world.
Article about Dress for Success Vancouver at Vancouver Is Awesome: https://www.vancouverisawesome.com/local-news/dress-for-success-refugee-women-newcomer-clothing-vancouver-bc-5922629
